moving on - literally

goodbye Blogspot, hello Wordpress

http://cebuanabymarriage.wordpress.com

goodbye Manila....

hello Cebu!

one two three

and we're back to where we've started.

funny though because i feel nothing,

i'm actually laughing my ass off to this =)

my life has its ups and downs,

and it's how you learn from it and MOVE ON!

happiness is a choice =) and i choose to be happy! =)

Important Lessons

there are important lessons in life that i've learned in my recent out of town trip, it's true what they say about life....shit happens! =) just take it all, rise above it, do not look back and just enjoy life because it is said to short and i'm glad it is.

so lessons as followed:

1. Past will haunt you down forever! no kidding! no matter how hard you try to get past it and live in the present and look forward to the future, past will always haunt you whether you like it or not, so i suggest you prepare (because i lack such preparation) and brace yourself for the unexpected! not all surprises are good.

2. You can't please everybody! no matter how charming, pretty, handsome, thoughtful, sweet or perfect you are. it's true that you can't please everybody! i thought this was just a cliche but damn....haters are haters!

3. Everything is about money! no explanation needed.

4. No one will love you like your mommy! no matter how good or bad you are....your mom will always be your number one fan. i'll be Caitlins number one fan for sure. =)

5. Blame it on the rain! some people will blame even the rain just to get some salvation. can't accept that one is not perfect and mistakes are inevitable.

6. You don't want your child/children to feel the pain and hurt that you're feeling or been through! i will kill anyone who will hurt my Caitlin! (serious mode to!)

7. It is possible to lose all the feelings without anesthesia! numbness is a reality! =)

expectations

it is true that expectations with lead you to heartache and disappointments,

sabi nga ng mga sellers ng mga 2nd hand stuffs -

MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

ciao!

stranger

dear stranger,

i can't believe what happened to you, you've become self-absorbed and all knowing. it's sad to know that you are not the same person you used to be but what's worst is that you've changed not for the better. i admire how you can talk nicely to other people and turn into a nasty one when you talk to me which is not very often.

i will not pretend to like you anymore nor try to understand why you are like a monster to me. instead i will try to just let you go and accept the fact that no matter how hard i pray or try to recreate the past, you will not go back to the old you. the old you that i really really like, the one i prayed for to find, the one i thought i was lucky enough to have.

thank you for turning me into this numb, i don't care anymore, i'm tired kind of girl. =) i hope it is all worth it, i hope you are happy. i hope one day you will realize that you're an asshole and of all people you treated me like a dirt. i deserve some respect.

you are pushing me to be like this. you are making this very easy.

love,

me =)

the end

yesterday was the end.

i decided to stop caring.

i will stop trying to make things work.

i will stop trying to give sense to everything.

i will stop reaching out.....

i will stop trying to understand

i will stop giving other people the power to hurt me.

i will stop expecting....

i will not beg for something that i deserve.

i will not ask for more

i will not be taken for granted.

i will not be a dummy...

i will not cry, i will not be sad.

i will be thankful for opening my eyes,

closing my heart, for being numb.

yesterday i stopped feeling anything.

this is the end.

Smallville

Smallville made me realized that I'm still a hopeless romantic, in as much as I already settled with what my life is right now, I suddenly missed the feeling of "kilig", I suddenly long for the romance and all that comes with it.

It's been a while and I missed the feeling of seeing your crush from a distance and the 5 mins conversation that you will rewind in your mind the whole day or week. The nervousness i'd feel whenever I'm in the same room with someone I adore. Or a good surprise that will make me smile, the butterfly in my stomach whenever I'm about to see my someone.

It takes two to tango. I know my part.

It's just there, it's just needed to be rekindled. I hope soon because I miss the feeling.

like

I like you today...

You make me so happy...

I hope today will last forever....

I'm happy =)

the truth

the truth is sometimes I pretend that I'm okay when I'm really hurting inside.

the truth is I miss you so much. and i want you back.

the truth is I'm tired of trying.

the truth is I'm starting not to care anymore. I think I like it.

the truth is I want you to be happy, even if it means more pain for me.

the truth is I don't like what I feel or think anymore...

the truth hurts, but what doesn't kill you, will make you stronger.

so I guess, shit happens.

at last

I have a lot on my mind lately, I wanted to blog more and express what I'm feeling but for some unexplained reason I don't blog about anything anymore. I missed writing here in my blog, I blame twitter for letting me express myself in 140 characters.

Christmas is just around the corner and for the first time, my family will be spending the holidays in Cebu with Mike's family. I look forward to eating lots of delicious foods since I dubbed Cebu "the land of yummy foods". Of course I'm excited for Caitlin, it'll be her first Christmas with her Manaloto family, and somewhat her first Christmas because she was just 15 days old last year and really really thin.

I spent last friday and saturday with my family in Las Pinas, went to my kuya's pamamanhikan. He is finally getting married and I'm really happy because it's with ate Yanie. Finally and thank God it's with her. I love ate Yanie, she's the best thing that ever happened to kuya.

I'm now consolidating a list of Christmas wishlist for myself. hahahaa! who knows right? I might get what I want. hehehe!

I'm so happy I found time to blog. I used to blog almost everyday. Now I have to go, Caitlins staring at me, I think she wants to play with me.

'til the next time! =) I love you my blog. You used to be my best friend.

unplanned

time flies when you're having fun and it's true that spontaneity rocks with a little dash of planning, just a little.

seeing things in a different light, hopefully this time it'll be better and not turn into something ugly all over again. it's irritating and i don't wanna go through shits all over again.

i spent the weekend over at my parents place! it was awesome and i ate a lot! i missed yaya's cooking and i think i gained 5lbs from my two day stay. i love my family.

i miss lomography, hoping after bagyong juan we can all go to Luneta and go lomo-ing

i love caitlin so much, she keep me sane and grounded. she's so adorable. i would say without her things will be a lot different. thank God for caitlin.

lemme enjoy life more. ciao!

follow!

http://ilovelovefood.tumblr.com

caitlin•august 2010

Caitlin would like to thank the following:

1. ninang miki for making time to take her photos

2. carters and tito benjie viloria for her dresses

3. mommy for her headbands and for having awesome genes

4. ate lorry her PA/stylist/diaper expert

5. dada for making her laugh and for being her bodyguard

6. God =)

slow

i'm learning a lot from life

i'm learning a lot about myself

i'm getting there and it's gonna be awesome

life is indeed full of surprises

one step at a time

here's to getting to where we want to be

slowly but surely

a new me

will now stop caring too much...

no more nice carla....

i wanna move on already!

this is the new me.

goodbye old carla!

in the end

in the end, it doesn't really matter....

i'm tired of waiting for my rocket to come....

it will not come, change is supposed to be good...

i'm done expecting, hoping for something good....

i'm not gonna smile again...

so much for my happy ending....

back at one

Its not the way you want it to be

Its never gonna be like before

Why does it has to change?

I want it back, I want it that way...

berry berry

I have a new phone!
I have to let go of 1k plus of awesome msgs though...
Irreplaceable messages and memories...
I hope its worth it...
I'm bad in letting go sentimental stuffs...hay!
Afraid that it might not be worth it...
I hope to I can save more awesome messages quite soon...
But I'm seriously doubting it...
No time for those things na...
So welcome blackberry.

P.s. I still so love you iphone and n95

happiness

hello blog!
it's been quite sometime since i rant here....
a lot happened...
i realized a lot of things,
and a lot of things changed....
for the better....
been praying more...
been smiling more...
getting my life back slowly but surely...

thank you for being patient...
thank you for still being there for me....
i will continue to move forward
and never look back...

happiness is a choice...

Letting go

I don't know why i'm still here when it's obvious that i don't need to be here

i don't know anymore the reason why i'm holding on

i don't know how long i can bear the disappointments and sadness

i don't know if i should still care when it's apparent that i should not care

i don't know why i'm still holding on when i should just let go

i don't know why i bother to think or try, it's not getting better

i don't know if this is all worth it, if this is really for me

i don't know anymore, i'm lost and tired

all i know is that i have to let go. Let it all go. Goodbye.